It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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