Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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