I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
