Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have fence marks all over my body
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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