ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
