Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
