I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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