D3 body, D1 cock
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
