you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I cut my penus on the lid.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
