matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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