sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
