I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
