Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
