if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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