The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
