Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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