I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
