Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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