I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i was born a porn star she said
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
