i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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