When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
