You work out of a Hotel?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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