you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
