i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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