Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
