Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
