I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Randomize
