we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
