You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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