So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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