one two three fourrrrnication!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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