About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
