They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
