make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just cropdusted the office
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
