Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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