i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
