I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
