And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
