Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the day after is always just damage control
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
