About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
