so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
