You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
