you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
