Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
