I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
