Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
