Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
