I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
