She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
