Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
