i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
