So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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