neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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